Naked Montreal: Sex and the Underground City
by Laura Roberts
Business is pleasure for Francesca “Frankie” Parker, Montreal’s go-to guide for all things seductive in the Underground City. “Sexy Tourism for Canada’s Fetish Capital” is what her card promises, and mon ami, she delivers. So toss the travel pamphlets and enjoy your tour as Frankie leads you deep into the Sin City of the North and all your wildest fantasies. If you haven’t developed a fetish yet, don’t worry – by the time Frankie bids you adieu, you may have a hard time choosing a favorite!
My date for tonight, an overstuffed businessman with slicked-back hair in a greasy little ponytail and a vaguely Bronx accent, is so chuffed to be here with a beautiful woman that he’s practically salivating over my white flesh, my smooth black hair, my pouty red lips.
Little does he realize, I’m just the appetizer. The main course is on her way, ready to beat him into submission. She goes by the name Lady Evelyn, but I’ve never seen any evidence of her title’s origins. I keep getting texts from her that say she’s on her way, which usually means she’ll be fifteen minutes late. I’ve got to keep the Catch wriggling on the line for a few more minutes, until she shows.
I finally receive a text from Lady Evelyn announcing her arrival, and swiftly draw our meal to a close as the Consultant inhales the last bits of mungfish left on the plate. I casually gesture for the check, and he signs off on our decadent feast with a look of pure evil in his eyes. I stand up, as if headed for the ladies’ room.
“Meet me in back in five minutes,” I whisper in his ear.
His eyes widen, and a smirk creeps across his face. Showtime.
Signed by the author via Authorgraph: http://www.authorgraph.com/authors/originaloflaura
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Laura Roberts writes about sex, travel and ninjas. Because what’s better than hot sex on a dream vacation while dodging shuriken?
As the author of the “V for Vixen” sex column, Laura began her career writing about Montrealers’ sexcapades, which have been collected together for her book, The Vixen Files. Blending real-life observations with fictional fantasies, she’s penned parts 1 and 2 of her serial novel, Naked Montreal, along with the short story collection The Montreal Guide to Sex, saucy poetry volume 69 Sexy Haiku, and satirical novella Ninjas of the 512. She’s currently hard at work on a sexy murder mystery entitled The Case of the Cunning Linguist.
Laura lives in an Apocalypse-proof bunker in sunny SoCal with her artist husband and their literary kitties, and blogs regularly at Buttontapper.com.
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
-Thank you for stopping by We Love Kink! We’re so glad you decided to sit down and chat with us. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself in case the readers haven’t met you before?
Hi! I’m Laura Roberts, and I write about sex, travel, writing, and ninjas – though not necessarily in that order. I live in an Apocalypse-proof bunker in sunny SoCal (San Diego, to be precise) with my artist husband and our literary kitties, Nedward Carlos Nedwards (aka Ned) and Percy. In addition to writing, I also run the online literary magazine Black Heart (http://blackheartmagazine.com), and I can leg-press an average-sized sumo wrestler. Sometimes I joke that I can do all of this while drinking coffee, but usually the caffeine just makes me jittery. Nice to meet you!
– Please share some juicy details about your latest release.
Naked Montreal is a work of fiction, but it draws on the true stories I heard and observed during my years as a sex columnist in the Sin City of the North. From strippers moonlighting as burlesque dancers (or is it the other way around?) to frisky proprietors of woman-friendly sex shops to gay gigolos who lavish their professional attention on the ladies, you’ll find plenty of characters between the pages.
– What draws you to Paranormal or erotic romance?
Erotic romance is something that I’ve always written, whether in hardcore erotica format or on the side of “intelligent smut.” I actually started one of Montreal’s first sex ‘zines back in 2004, publishing some of my own sexy stories as well as those of my friends and classmates at Concordia University, and always enjoyed that thrill of sharing stories that were a little bit naughty, a little bit racy, and a lot of fun to write.
-When did you realize you were a writer?
When I was in junior high, my English teacher (or Language Arts, as they called it in our school) assigned each of us to keep a journal, which we would turn in weekly as part of our grade. Whether it was my love for Harriet the Spy and the notebook she took everywhere, or just the permission our teacher was giving us to run wild on the pages, I took to the assignment and became an avid diarist. I wrote in a variety of pen colors, for different moods and emphasis, and chronicled my pre-teen years with passion. I still have some of those journals, and it’s really interesting (and often hilarious) to look back at the person I was then and read what I was thinking. I don’t keep a diary like that anymore, but that was definitely the first time I began writing things both for myself and for an intimate audience (my teacher, who would write comments and questions in the margins), and I really enjoyed it. I think in 2015 I will try to get back to this style of writing with my blog, as I miss having that kind of intimacy with my readers.
-Where do you, as an author, draw the line on subject matter?
I try not to write stories about people who don’t deserve the attention. So, for instance, I used to write a lot of revenge stories about ex-boyfriends, but one day I realized that some of them had probably behaved so badly purely because they knew they’d wind up in one of my stories. After that, I refused to give them the attention they thought they deserved, and both my writing and love life improved.
-What or who were your early influences?
Some of my very early influences were Louise Fitzhugh’s excellent Harriet the Spy and Beverly Cleary’s Ramona stories, as well as all the Judy Blume books. Later on I got into the fairly unavoidable Baby-Sitter’s Club books and the Sweet Valley High series. When I finally got into reading adult literature, some of my early favorites were Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles and Lilian Jackson Braun’s The Cat Who… mysteries. I also remember reading Steinbeck’s novella The Pearl about half a dozen times throughout my K-12 education, in different grades, though oddly enough I haven’t read any other Steinbeck books!
-How do you deal with writer’s block?
I usually keep several different projects on the go at the same time, some nonfiction and some fiction, so I typically switch between them when I run into obstacles. Sometimes it’s just a matter of putting on a different hat, and other times taking a break to do more research – whether that’s reading a book I’ve been meaning to get to, or surfing the ‘net for more information to include – will help.
-What is the best part of being a writer? What is the most difficult part?
The best part of being a writer is definitely having written – and published – a book. The most difficult part is marketing!
-Who are a few of your favorite authors?
Some of my favorite authors are Leonard Cohen, Jeanette Winterson, Douglas Adams, David Sedaris, Dorothy Parker and, most recently, Amanda Palmer.
-What are three things that many people don’t know about you?
1. I have two Bachelor of Arts (BA) degrees, which I like to joke makes me full of BS. One is in Philosophy and one is in Creative Writing & English Literature. I started a Master’s degree in Philosophy, but ultimately realized I didn’t want to teach Philosophy for the rest of my life, dropped out, and got a writing degree instead. I still get into philosophical discussions on occasion, but tend to get bored when people begin arguing semantics.
2. I have won NaNoWriMo three times, legitimately, and once by cheating. The novel I cheated with was published as Naked Montreal!
3. I took French in high school and lived in Montreal for about 8 years, but whenever people ask me if I can speak French, the only thing that ever comes to mind is “Oui, un vrai petit peu,” which means “Yes, a very little bit.” I can order coffee and swear in French, but usually just smile and nod at anything more complicated than that. C’est la vie!
-Thank you so much for stopping by and talking to us! It has been a lot of fun. Is there anything else you’d like to add before we get to telling everyone about what they could win today?
Laura is awarding a $25 Amazon gift card + free ecopy of Naked Montreal to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter